After graduation, Mike wants to cure cancer, fix the hole in the ozone, create world peace, alleviate world hunger, and discover the meaning of life, but perhaps he's being overly ambitious. He likes apple pie.

Don Flynn III comes from Hampton Beach, NH. He once dressed up as a big bucket of Sass for Halloween, but nobody noticed the costume. Despite the fact that Don's singing voice is a gift from on high, his laughter kills angels. Bumper stickers with that warning on them are for sale at the Derbies' store.

When Amos grows up, he wants to be in a "Flight of the Conchords" cover band. He likes wearing contacts and interesting t-shirts and dislikes the word "three-peat." He may inquire about your currnet financial situation and ask if he may partake in your bounty, so head's up.

Matt wants to be a professor when he grows up so that he can save the world through education reform. When he's not in the classroom making a difference, he likes spaghetti and doing the Stanky Legg. Being Latino is his heritage not his excuse.

Hadley Hartford Hornig comes from Minnesota and is often mistakenly associated with the wrestler "Triple H" and/or a certain anti-itch cream. While he is physically unassuming, he will take you down like Triple H and relieve your various irritations.

Sung Han comes to Brown all the way from Seoul, South Korea. Sung got into the group because of a secret clause in our constitution which grants membership to anyone with a name that is also a verb pertaining to the Derbies. Just ask Derby #48, Makesdumbjokes Johnson, or Derby #110, Peedonstairsonce McGee.

Ari doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. But he knows he likes languages, athletic things, and Smartfood cheddar popcorn. On the kickball field, you can find him running a few yards to the right of first base, heading straight for the dugout, which he refers to as "the bungalow."

Ben Simon is the third Derby to come from Evanston, Illinois. His leadership skills draw comparison to those of Liz Lemon for the way he maintains order among the Derbies. Yeah, sometimes Thursday night rehearsals start a few minutes late because most Derbies were watching 30 Rock...

Robert Warner may call Brown his home, but in truth he's a dirty transfer student. While some people accepted him warmly into the Brown Community, he is constantly reminded of his inferior status, much like Cady in Mean Girls. On that note, YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

Sam Usher is our West Coast representative, where his fan base stretches from his home in LA to a certain all-girls school in NorCal. If you haven't yet heard of Sam Usher, it's probably because you're from the East Coast, and it takes time for cool things to migrate out to you. Sam is the reason all of our live performances have a 7-second delay.

Lee is too awesome for a bio. Enough said.

Whether Austin is simply listening to someone who is speaking or whether he is accusing other Derbies of stealing his Snuggey, his eyebrows are always vigilant and wild. Austin comes from Amish country and is a connoisseur in all that is KFC-Taco Bell.

Brandon Boldt has a spectacular body (second to Chiz of course) due to his undergraduate experience as a swimmer and frat brother. He likes looking at rocks especially in Antartica where he goes frequently to eat Penguins and dig and stuff. He gets lonely really easily so pay attention to him and have fun with him.

Hailing from SomethingSomething, CT, Justin Klee is actually his twin brother 50% of the time, he just doesn't tell you. Though to be honest, we prefer his twin's company (even though we've never met him). Justin's ego is too big. Its too wide. Its too strong. It won't fit. But all in all, he talks like this 'cause he can back it up.

Lex (no relation to Superman's nemesis) comes from the exotic land of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where boys become men and dreams become reality. If Lex could be any vegetable, he'd be celery because he has very little nutritional value and combines well with peanut butter.

Sam Phelps comes from the boonies of Vermont. When he's not being outdoorsy he likes to do backflips and wave his hands back and forth while snapping. Despite looking like someone who you think will be a good dancer, he's surprisingly awkward in some of his body movements.